Thursday, October 14, 2010
.|.Broken Heart.|.
When pieces fall..There will be someone who'll pick it up for
you..I don't know why..While having late lunch with Qinny,
we talked and talked..And at one point..I just burst into
tears...I'm going through so much...Yet I want to burden no
one..Not everybody knows this...So I'm gonna be frank
about it..I've lived my life without a father..And I've lived
my life hard..I had to put things I loved aside just so I
get bills paid..The moment I was legal to work,I started
earning..This might sounds cliche..But until today,whatever
earnings I received,not even a penny I hold...I willingly
give it all up to my mother...I know she needs it more..I
spent my school days on an empty stomach,feed with
tears..But not once did I complained..
I might act childish,and pampered,but that's just a way to
hide all those tears,all those sorrow..The world is already
a sad place,I ain't gonna make it even sadder..I'm no
sadist..And when we talked about people not appreciating
what they have or given...It just triggered those emotions..
I am girl who has NOTHING! Everyday i go to school,I'll
always have this in my head "today is gonna be over,will
I still be able to pull through tomorrow? Will I be able to
get my studies done? I have till 2012 to survive..Will I?"
With $200 a month to settle bills,expenses and even
households...I cry every night of every day...I pray to
God..That somehow,somewhere...Someone will come along..
Lightens the weights I held...I thank God for every door
HE has opened for me...Every opportunity HE has laid for me..
But right now..I just don't know what I wanna do..Ok...So right
now..Apart from that $200,I get $15 per hour from teaching..
But that's not gonna be enough...And I can't possibly go on
tiring myself out..I'll end up abandoning my studies..Which is
not what I wanna do..
I don't know...I really...Don't know..Where do I go from here...
Who do I go to from here?Who do I seek strength from?Who's
gonna pick up those fallen pieces of mine?Who's eyes do I
seek to find peace?Sometimes I just wanna hide..
I just wanna cry now...
God have mercy on me...9:29 PM Z
♥Lady of Love♥
♥ Nurul Irah Aman♥
♥ I'm Your Funny Girl♥
♥ I Am My Own Style
♥ Extrovert
♥ Vain
♥ Fun-Loving
♥ Spontaneous
♥ Chocolate Is My Indulgence
♥ Coffee Is My Addiction
♥ Music Heals My Soul
♥ Beauty/Looking Good Is My Fetish
♥ Competitive
♥ Stubborn Yet Able To Compromise
♥ Dominant
♥ Beautifully Gorgeous Inside Out
♥ Sugary Sweet If You're Nice,Vice-Versa
♥ Cunningly Smart
♥ I Talk The Talk & Walk The Walk!
♥ Lastly:I Don't Give A Damn About YOUR Judgments Towards Me!Kapeesh?!
♥♥ I believe in believing in yourself.If you think you can do it,then you CAN do it.♥♥
♥♥ If you want something,pursue it with your whole heart,mind and soul.♥♥
♥♥ If you are afraid of failing.YOU have already FAILED!Don't be afraid of failing.Because you can only be better after you failed.♥♥
