Tuesday, October 12, 2010
.|.Random Feelings Of the Moment.|.
Arrogance have always been associated with me by those
who first saw me..That's what they thought..I do admit
that I put a wall between people and myself..Not that I
can't open up and go out of my comfort zone..It's just that
I have been hurt once too many times..That I find it hard
to trust others..The only person I can trust is myself..
Those who know me now,somehow,know why I was like
that then..Words are weapon..And words was used on me.
From words come sentence,there on a rumour that I wished
not to mention,starts going around..It tore me apart..
It took me quite the time to mend myself back..That was
when things change..I no longer was that geek next door..
I no longer was the sweet nice girl they used to know..I
took a transformation of a years ahead changing..Slowly..
Things weren't the same..I was a rebel..I say what I
wanna say...I do what I feel like doing..I couldn't give a
hoot about what others had to say about me..And I am
pretty much aware that some just hate me..Some envy me..
Some..Just had empathy for me..I'm still searching for me..
I don't know who am I..What am I..But I know,you do not
deserve my time of worth if I just felt that way..
Yes..I'm a girl who relies big time on my animal instinct..
I'm a loose canon..Raw and untamed..Naive and vain..I
know,the combination's a confusion...But that's what I am..
pretty much,somehow,confused yet at the same time,I know
what I want..Don't try to understand me if you don't think
you'll ever understand yourself because I think everyone's
a lil' confused about themselves...
Hatred burns within me..It's a spark waiting to grow bigger..
Ultimately,I just hate everything..I hate you..I hate her..I
hate him..I hate myself...And every second of every minute
of every hour of the days and months and years,I've been
competing with myself..I'm never satisfied..I'm never good
enough..I'm never pretty enough..I am never smart enough..
I'm never...Worth it...I guess if no one comes along,who can
actually impact me,this will go on and on and on...And soon,
I'll get eaten up by myself...Oh! I don't know!!
I need to put an end to this shit..I'm pushing myself too
hard..I'm putting too much weight on myself..And I'm
effing throwing myself the extend of almost breaking
down..I wonder what devil in me that keeps me going..
Forcing myself to be a bitch..I think I need help...But
my ego's too FAT! It'll hurt my ego if I were to seek help
from even a close friend..That's why I'm always keeping
myself busy..Avoiding those around me as much as possible..
Whatever it is...Don't put any hopes on me..Don't have any
faith in me..Don't believe me..
Aku wanita biasa...Aku tak sempurna..Aku ada kekurangan..
Dan yg paling ketara..Aku ada masalah dengan diri aku..
Kalau kau pilih untuk berada di samping aku,disamping hidup
aku...Just prepare for the worse..Okay..Jangan harap apa-apa
dari aku..8:56 PM Z
♥Lady of Love♥
♥ Nurul Irah Aman♥
♥ I'm Your Funny Girl♥
♥ I Am My Own Style
♥ Extrovert
♥ Vain
♥ Fun-Loving
♥ Spontaneous
♥ Chocolate Is My Indulgence
♥ Coffee Is My Addiction
♥ Music Heals My Soul
♥ Beauty/Looking Good Is My Fetish
♥ Competitive
♥ Stubborn Yet Able To Compromise
♥ Dominant
♥ Beautifully Gorgeous Inside Out
♥ Sugary Sweet If You're Nice,Vice-Versa
♥ Cunningly Smart
♥ I Talk The Talk & Walk The Walk!
♥ Lastly:I Don't Give A Damn About YOUR Judgments Towards Me!Kapeesh?!
♥♥ I believe in believing in yourself.If you think you can do it,then you CAN do it.♥♥
♥♥ If you want something,pursue it with your whole heart,mind and soul.♥♥
♥♥ If you are afraid of failing.YOU have already FAILED!Don't be afraid of failing.Because you can only be better after you failed.♥♥
